Disciplinary Journaling

I believe that communication is vital in any relationship. I've found there are many opportunities for communication in a Domestic Discipline relationship. If a couple does not communicate about discipline, there is room for misunderstanding and false assumptions - then frustration and tension. One of the best opportunities to communicate is after a firm spanking.

I do require D. to keep a journal of his daily thoughts and actions. This was not something that we had to negotiate, and that's because D. wanted to express his thoughts to me. I also encourage him to use his journal to confess any behaviors or attitudes that would normally earn a discipline. Obviously, I count on D. to be completely open and honest in his journal.

I read his journal on a regular basis. I review his thoughts, feelings and behaviors so I can understand how he has really been feeling - instead of having to guess. After I have read the journal, I decide whether he needs to be disciplined for any of the misbehavior he has recorded. Let me make this clear: The journal is not a substitute for our personal communication, but it absolutely complements the discipline process.

Corner Time

For many couples, corner time is an integral prt of the discipline routine. I use corner time when I want D. to think about his offense. Sometimes I have him stand in the corner before the spanking to build anticipation of the punishment to come. Other times I require him to stand in the corner after the spanking to heighten the effect of the punishment.

I have found that corner time allows the spanking to be expanded. By this I mean D. may need to have his punishment spread out over two or more sessions. I often give him a series of spankings for the more serious offenses - with each punishment in the series being more harsh. I can usually determine by his reaction during corner time if another spanking is warranted.

I discovered early that I needed to force D. to reflect on his misbehavior. There is no better place for him to do this than standing in the corner. When D. is put into this very boring place (instead of in front of the television), he is forced to go inside himself. He spends his time reflecting on the circumstances that led to his discipline and his responsibility.

Positions - Diaper

This position puts D. in the most vulnerable position during the spanking. I don't often try this because I don't have the strength to keep his legs up and spank his bare bottom at the same time. It requires a little coordination to accomplish all this.

I've heard that it's a fun variation for the spanker - but I just don't see it, to be honest. It's definitely more embarassing for the person receiving the smacks because it exposes him completely. The only reason I've tried it is because I can actually look into his eyes as I land each of the swats on his bare behind.

If I can't see his eyes during the spanking, I have to rely on the tone of his voice and how much he squirms during the spanking in order to measure the effectiveness. Squirm and squeal are by no means weak measurements of how well I am doing - it's just nice sometimes to be able to see his facial reactions.

Positions - On His Stomach

Another favorite spanking position is having D. lie on his stomach. This position works on the floor, face down on the couch or on the bed. I use pillows to angle the bottom up high. The use of the pillows offers some semblance of nurturing and comfort (but not too much). In this position, I can use my hand, a small paddle, or a strap. It allows for accurate spanking because I have really good control of my arm and a clear view of the target.