Benefit: Attitude Adjustment

Somtimes my MAN behaves like a little BOY! This is never more apparent than when he is stubbornly holding onto his desire to be right. To encourage a change in his attitude, sometimes all I need to do is say "You're going to earn a spanking if you continue with this attitude!"

Other times require that I give him a hard spanking to clear his head and restore his sanity. I take these opportunities to teach D. humility, to train him to admit when he's wrong, to guide him into feeling truly sorry when he treats me with disrespect. When his attitude becomes an obstacle, a spanking helps him to feel how much he is hurting the relationship.

You might find that it is much easier to paddle him right there than go through the day wrestling with his bad mood - and you may be surprised at the results.

Benefit: Open Communication

Another primary benefit of a Domestic Discipline relationship is open communication. I have heard many couples talk about how much their communication improved after the introduction of Domestic Discipline into the relationship. It is sometimes difficult with D. and I living stressful and busy lives to maintain open communication in our home. Sometimes D. feels emotionally distant. That's when I pull him close and remind him of my need for communication.

Quite often the purpose of the spankings that I give to D. is to restore emotional connection (release guilt and practice forgiveness) and not to punish him for an offense - even though the connection was lost because of an offense. Once I have rebuilt the emotional connection and restored respect within the relationship, the obstacles to communication (such as the stress and business I mentioned earlier) disappear.

Benefit: Respect

Another primary benefit of Domestic Discipline is respect. If I allow D. to trample over my feelings, both of us lose respect for each other. Spanking can produce greater respect because I demonstrate my willingness to enforce boundaries. No relationship survives without boundaries.

If the basic respect exists between the two of you, then you can remind him to show respect when his attitude or behavior crosses a boundary. He needs to know there are consequences to his attitudes and behaviors. If you cannot enforce boundaries, you cannot expect him to honor and respect your boundaries.

Sometimes he may get sarcastic or take an attitude that damages the relationship. It is in these times that I am the toughest on D. so he will not slip back into his old communication patterns. A spanking is a clear reminder of where I do not want to relationship to go.

Benefit: Emotional Connection

The primary benefit of a Domestic Discipline relationship is profound emotional connection between the partners. The enhanced connection is a result of moving through the discipline process together in one emotional space. When a spanking is administered properly, D. experiences a true sense of relief (release of guilt) and feels much better knowing I have had the chance to vent (and forgive).

Domestic Discipline has an emotional effect on both participants. It allow me (as the dominant) to demonstrate that I value the relationship enough to discipline him. By submitting to the discipline, D. demonstates that he values the relationship as well. The emotional connection happens because I am holding him close (instead of pushing him away) and we are moving through the process together - from the very first hard-fought words of the confrontation, through the physical spanking, and into the loving arms of the aftercare.

How Does Spanking Enhance Relationships?

Sometimes D. gets frustrated simply because it isn't easy to NOT be in charge! Sometimes it just happens out of the blue. He cops an attitude because things aren't going just the way he wants them. That's when a spanking really helps. I think some of the reasons it helps include:

1. Spanking releases endorphins. Endorphins are chemicals in the brain. During and after a spanking, these chemicals are released to make the spankee feel total relaxation. The relaxation and openness allow both partners to feel totally loved and loving.
2. Spanking can be sexually exciting. The dominant partner enjoys giving the spanking, and the submissive partner relaizes the importance of receiving the spanking - especially after the discipline is over. It's hard to be stressed when you're excited!
3. Spanking restores us to our rightful place. When D. earns a spanking, I know that he will respect me more after I discipline him. If I neglect to correct his disrespect, his attitude and behavior will worsen over time until he eventually damages the relationship. We are more respectful and open with each other right after a firm spanking session.
4. Spanking provides some powerful attention. If D. Is feeling neglected, misunderstood, or frustrated as part of the bad behavior, then a good spanking is very healing. We've also goten into the habit of cuddling and carrying on some fairly deep discussions after the spanking.

Benefits of Domestic Discipline

You might find an immense array of benefits in a Domestic Discipline relationship. Spanking can create an environment of personal and intimate discussion between the partners. It can be used as part of a larger process to allow more open discussion in the relationship. When it is properly administered, Domestic Discipline tends to:

• focus his attention and energy
• encourage his open communication
• increase the respect he has for you
• enhance the emotional connection to you
• improve his temper and mood
• create in him a spirit of unselfishness

The most effective spankings have the greatest rewards - more than just a pink bottom for him and a sore hand for you. Consider this post by a spanked hubby on one of the Yahoo groups dedicated to Domestic Discipline:

Last Saturday morning, I was in the middle of taking care of a task when I was interrupted by other things. I was also interrupted by my wife (the disciplinarian) with a request. I must have sounded a bit whiney in my response because I quite shortly found myself bent over getting a few well-deserved swats on my bare bottom. Remarkably, the rest of the weekend was wonderful for both of us. We did a ton of errands together and still found time both for ourselves and to be with family and friends. There is little doubt in my mind that without that Saturday morning correction, the weekend would have been just another stressed out, overbooked weekend.

In the coming weeks, I will post in much more detail about the benefits of Domestic Discipline. These are benefits I will share from my personal experience and benefits that the scientific community is just now beginning to notice. Thank you for taking the time to glance through this blog. I hope that it does all of us some good!

Definition of Domestic Discipline

While any unabridged dictionary gives an appropriate definition of spanking, the book definition leaves too much to the imagination. Spanking has become an accepted and widely-practiced method of enhancing relationships. Many couples are discovering the relational benefits gained through consensual spanking - a technique that encourages new levels of communication.

There are as many different Domestic Discipline relationships as there are couples who have chosen the lifestyle. Ask the Smith couple across the street how they might define Domestic Discipline, and they will tell you what it means to them. Ask the Jones couple next door, and you'll get a completely different answer.

Definition: Domestic Discipline is the institution of boundaries and consequences imposed on either or both partners in the relationship as a corrective measure for specific transgressions.

The idea behind Domestic Discipline is to administer punishment when it is needed - then make up and forget the whole incident. In this way, every disagreement is effectively closed before it has time to grow into a much more serious problem. Domestic Discipline is a way of getting life and ourselves back in harmony with each other.

My Domestic Discipline Relationship

I have been involved in the Domestic Discipline world in some form or another for almost 20 years now. I have had a few DD relationships that were memorable, but the vast majority were forgettable. A few months ago, I found D. hanging out in a Yahoo group devoted to Domestic Discipline. There are several DD groups out there - some good, some not so good.

During the first five weeks we struggled as a committed couple - experiencing frequent problems in our communication and trust levels. He was on the road a lot, and I found myself working for long hours. Eventually we reached the point where D. and I were living in two separate worlds. That's when I suggested Domestic Discipline.

I cornered D. one weekend and explained that he had a choice between Domestic Discipline or the end of our relationship. Fortunately, he's been involved in DD for a while, too. He agreed to apply the principles of the plan in our relationship - with me serving as the disciplinarian. After several months of working the plan, the changes in our relationship have been significant. We've gone from being distant and desperate to having a very fulfilling relationship.

It is my hope that these blog entries communicate some of the DD process between D. and myself, and that they help you to find the best method for enhancing your relationship.